‘You are his kryptonite’, Merv said to her.

She smiled, sheepishly; to my mind, the smile was indicating that she wasn’t sure if Merv meant it as a compliment to her or was identifying his weakness to her.

She is the weakness, that is going to make him powerless. ‘Other people’, obviously the guys with other interests, will enjoy to exploit this weakness and render the him useless or less effective.

This word, kryptonite, caught my attention. (Dictionary meaning of Kryptonite- in science fiction, is an alien mineral with the property of depriving Superman of his powers.)If kryptonite is a metaphor, it represents ‘the limits’, that can adversely affect life, that hinders one from living out one’s purpose. Not knowing one’s purpose is one such kryptonite, while falling prey to an undisciplined life could be another common kryptonite.

Is it possible to become immune to personal kryptonite? Most of the Super Hero movies revolve around this theme.

I kept thinking about my kryptonite / or that of people who I have been working with, and or coaching. Age, lack of experience, some feeling of being different / inefficient / inadequate (esp for adolescents), lack of emotional support are some manifestations of these kryptonites.

I found couple of blogs on this topicthat were interesting.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/229090,

https://medium.com/@stylianoslambrou/overcoming-your-kryptonite-76988dbd5a60

http://leadtoimpact.com/what-is-your-kryptonite/

I love N Hill’s book titled ‘Outwitting the Devil – The Secret to Freedom & Success’ that gives an ample food for thought to help overcome personal kryptonites. (BTW, this book, originally written in 1938, was published only in 2011 when it appeared less controversial for the current times! Even times and systems have their kryptonites, right! (http://www.simardartizanfarm.ca/pdf/Hill_Napoleon_-_Outwitting_the_devil.pdf). One needs to work daily to overcome personal kryptonite lest one gives in to the ‘devil’.

I think one of my key kryptonite is ‘operating from expectations / demands’. I hold high expectations from myself as well as others. I am an effective superman as long as I am subjecting myself to these expectations. However, when others are subjected to these expectations, I am not living within my circle of influence and rendering myself weak. In all honesty, when I am operating on and from my set of expectations, I am failing to see the other person as the person is; I am not honoring the other person’s reality and strengths while being adamant about the righteousness of my expectations. In the process, I am hurting them (may be insulting too, though unknowingly) leading to either they shutting me out or they reacting to me or they clamping down further. All in all, in most of the cases,I am left feeling angry / disappointed and guilty in the rest.

I have been working on identifying and implementing a strategy to help me overcome my kryptonite. Sharing my 4 step approach to overcoming my kryptonite —

1. Define Personal Brand Image – PBI is how I define myself, the way I want to distinguish myself from others and be perceived by all my stakeholders. This personal brand image has been created keeping in mind my vision for myself and purpose I want to dedicate myself to.

2. Co-opt a buddy in the journey of overcoming this kryptonite – Power of the kryptonite can be overcome by a conscious and collective effort and in this journey buddies help a great deal! I have announced to my circle this PBI and have enrolled my buddies to keep me honest to the commitment. This helps me keep up with the promise, encourages me when I am feeling low, and motivates me to take the next step and / or to push boundaries.

3. Implement the PBI –Obviously, walking the talk is the next step. In the 8 areas of my PBI, I have stated goals against each. The above kryptonite falls in the area of relationship. In this challenge, my goal is to walk into a conversation with open mind and / or state expectations up front to own up the personal location while engaging in a conversation. Another goal is to catch myself early enough in my conversations when I am slipping into the ‘unstated expectation driving my mood’ mode. Honoring the other person’s reality is not easy but that is a part of my PBI and hence I challenge myself to do so.

4. Learn from every experience and keep improving – Reflection and learning along with improving from these reflections is the next step of my 4 step strategy. ‘What happened and why did it happen’ are easy ways to delayer the causal factors and hence identifying what to continue to do and what to drop.

I have been propagating these ideas for a while now. I have got some encouraging feedback from others. I review my journey with reference to the PBI to keep myself on track towards my goals.

I am looking at kryptonites that are within my circle of influence and control. Not becoming someone else’s kryptonite is a different ballgame altogether!